Ho Ho Holidays
Oh the holidays are here! Thanksgiving hasn’t come out of the oven yet and Hobby Lobby has Valentines Day discounts in full swing. You’ve debated on telling family members that you have switched religions just to avoid the egg nog and fetching aunt Tracy’s “special drink.” People around you are sharing good old Christmas stories of years past. And you’re like, “bro, Walgreens has still got Halloween candy at 75% off.” Tis the season to go out and be swiping those low interest Capital One cards and start checking in on them lay-aways placed in the spring. And then again you’re like, “what the hell does any of this have to do with a vaping blog?”
Well first, calm down Terrance, if you have read anything I’ve wrote, I’m long winded. Second. I think you’re supposed to say “second” after having started with saying “first.” It’s the damn holidays man! Get with the Xmas cheer and the anxiety of writing out that Xmas shopping list. If you’re like me, no not Mexican, I mean you can be Mexican but not what I was talking about. If you vape and it would be kinda weird if you’re reading this and you didn’t. You are probably like, “oh man, what’s that new new that I can cop for my homies this year.” Let me help you out, they don’t want that “new new.” They want (you want) what you “use use.” Like what!! Terrance, I swear to Christ himself if you don’t shut up, I’m telling Big Momma that you don’t get no pie this year.
Vaping fam I’m gonna write the best Christmas vape list that you never asked for. I might even do it twice and save a copy for myself. Number one on the list is batteries. Really? Yes really! Listen, you can’t get anyone too many pairs of batteries. Even if you or your friends have several sets of batteries. They are very much like my pimp game, old and tired. These high powered lithium celled bad boys were meant for blinding retinas, not bomb clouds. Vapers just pull and suck on them little work horses all day long. Draining the lithium cells as low as they can go, day in and day out. Treat yourself or those around you to some safer living. Did you say safer? Um yeah, duh. Lithium Ion batteries if handled improperly can be dangerous for real. Like roast your face giving you that Ryan Reynolds look from Deadpool kinda day. Keep batteries out of your pockets or your girlfriend’s purse. Have you seen that thing? There is enough bottled water, hair thingys and loose change in the average female's purse to buy a small third world village. Store your batts in their own case or their own pocket and you’ll be fine. Keep them out of direct sun (if you live in Texas and had to think about this. We are not friends.) If your wraps, (the plastic stuff around your batteries) looks as chewed as the bottom of your blue jeans. It’s gonna be time to go ahead and replace those as well.
But when are we gonna talk about all the sweet ass juice!?!? (Please give us a moment while we say a prayer and remember Terrance Walter Johnson the third. His comments while lacking in value were also unwanted.) Yes of course you can buy your favorite little vape head some juice. But they’re are some buts that need to be considered. Like, do you know their nicotine level? And do you know what profile (flavors) they like to vape? If you got a 100% yes to the first one and a so so um huh to the second, we’re cooking with bacon. Strut into your local vape shop, look at the person behind the counter and say, “Hey what’s your #1 selling flavor that taste like “X” Don’t say “X” the X represents the flavor profile you’d insert. The next step is crucial, I’m saying major key right here. Whatever that person says as a response, buy that bottle. Shhhhhh, I know, we’re gonna get through this. Need I remind you this is the holidays, treat yourself to a brainless five seconds that knocks a person off of that jingle bell list today! And last but not least is cotton or coils. If they use cotton anyone will do. Japanese, balls, swabs, Egyptian, spun or rung. Cotton is as cotton does and it’ll all vape pretty much the same cuz. Coils coils coils, how do you know what coil to buy? Pull out that supercomputer from you pocket that you call a cellphone. Snap a picture of your buddies mod and show that pic to, you guessed it. The vape salesperson and say, “yo, gimme these please.” You’re home before aunt Tracy vomits in the kitchen and your list is complete.
We hope this helps with all that’s left to do, while rent and gifts from Santa are both soon to be due. And remember that if you ever get too stressed during the happiest season, while aunt Tracy’s drink may taste like ether and fire. You will most definitely see Santa and all his happy reindeer.
From the entire Boardwalk Team, we offer Gift Certificates, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and whatever else you’re into.